Praying...

This evening, my only focus is on prayer. My heart is breaking for someone very dear to me and all I can do is pray...

Beach Trip! Days 59-63

We just returned from Gracie's first trip to the beach! Hilton Head was our destination and sun, shopping, and relaxation were all part of the goal. I had questioned whether or not Gracie would even tolerate the beach, with all of its itchy, scratchy sand, strong breezes, and taunting waves. I thought I could predict exactly how she would react, feet pulled up high, refusing to let so much as the tip of her toe touch such unfamiliar ground. Besides, it had taken months for her to venture off of our blanket at the park and into the cool, damp grass. I could already see the look that was sure to be on her face and guessed her first "beach experience" would be a short one. Mommy's guess was right, for about two minutes.

Gracie's first impression, upon being dropped to the sand along with all of our other beach gear, seemed to be, "you've got to be kidding me, there is no way I'm putting my feet in that!" After forcing her little feet to the wet sand, and stepping away so that she had no real choice in the matter, that attitude began to change. She took a step. Then, she walked, cautiously at first, her button nose wrinkled up in disgust. She took her time, trying to figure it all out, clung to her Nana, Grandpa, or to the hem of my shorts, and fussed at us when it all became too much.

Finally, after realizing we weren't going to pick her up, or return her to the safety of her towel, she gave up. And then, this child ran. And she ran, and ran, and ran. The tides had turned and we were now the ones wanting to retreat to the towels, even if for one restful moment. Gracie was thrilled with the freedom laid out before her, no baby gates, no closed doors. Gracie fell in love with the beach.

After that initial introduction, no "warm up" period was required for the remainder of our vacation. Once those bare feet hit the ground, she was off. She ran after the sea gulls, stopping only to point as they took flight. She ran through pools of ocean water, often falling in up to her waist. She lifted the sand up in her tiny hands and watched as it sprinkled back down before her. She enjoyed crushing my many attempts at sand castles, made in the shapes of tupperware bowls and bath toys. She splashed and kicked through large puddles and ran fearlessly towards the waves, one of the biggest surprises to me. She seemed unaffected by her sand-coated fruit or the taste of salt water on her lips. The ocean breeze whipped through those wild, blond curls and she had not a care in the world. I watched my little girl, clearly a baby no more, learning, discovering, and living in this new experience.

In my lifetime, I've visited the beach so many times and have vivid memories of sand castles and buried feet, boogie boards and water wings, early mornings spent searching for that perfect sea shell, and those waves that knock you down and push you under, but keep you coming back for more. While the experiences and memories are many, seeing the beach through my daughter's eyes presented it all in a new way. It was as if this was my first beach trip, too, and I loved it.

Unfortunately, there was one very important thing missing, and had we had him with us, the trip would have been perfect. Sean was unable to share in this new experience with Gracie and I, and for that reason, it was bittersweet. Gracie and I were both missing him, and he was missing us. Needless to say, we will be returning, Daddy in tow, and I imagine once again, it will be like stepping onto the sand for the first time.

"Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone."

Day 58...

Time to Pack!

Finally, the time has come, we will be on our way to Hilton Head, SC tomorrow morning! I spent the evening checking, and re-checking, my list of "must haves" and have tried my hardest to minimize the number of bags we have to take! Sean had an interview this morning for a networking position and received a proposal this evening! I am so proud of him, and so thankful for this good news, but it does mean he won't be able to join us at the beach. He starts tomorrow morning, bright and early! Gracie and I will be riding with Nana and Grandpa Johnny. I don't know that they remember what it's like to travel with a baby, but they will soon find out! Now, as I've mentioned before, my little one is no fan of the car seat, even on our short trips to Target, so our 6 hour drive to SC should be an experience of its own! I'll have to catch up on my blog when we return...I hope to have some great pictures to share. :)

Day 57...

Freezing that moment...

Photography. You could easily look up the definition and find something that reads, "the process or art of producing images of objects on sensitized surfaces by the chemical action of light", and this would work, because this is precisely what photography is. But, when I think about photography, a topic I love discussing, learning about, and putting to practice my definition is a bit less "technical". Photography is indeed an art, but I would define it more as, "the art of taking a real, lived moment, a mere second in time, however ordinary or spectacular, and freezing it". This whole concept amazes me.

Photography has been an important part of who I am for a very long time. In fact, I can clearly remember the first camera I ever owned. It was a hot pink and black film camera, and exactly what I had always wanted. I was 10 years old and in love with the idea of having a camera of my own, and the freedom to take pictures of whatever it was I wanted to take pictures of. At that time, I was usually snapping away at my siblings, friends, very random objects or stuffed animals. Even as a child, I can remember being serious about every shot I took. The object(s) of interest should be well centered, the backdrop appealing, and never, ever look posed, even if you are. I enjoyed catching people in the most candid of moments, usually to their dismay.

My interest in photography grew when I acquired my first real "subject", my cat, Kitty. I have an entire album full of pictures of my sweet ball of fluff. In fact, it was a picture of Kitty that first caught the attention of a few family members. In it, she was lounging in front of a large window and there was a mix of sunlight and shadow cast over her. I was using black and white film at the time, and the effect created was both unusual and appealing. It was more of an accident that anything else, but it made me realize taking a picture went well beyond simply pressing your finger to a button and waiting for a flash...

Then, there was my niece, Madison. Looking at that precious baby through the lens of my camera, and watching how quickly she was changing, gave photography a real purpose. My need to take pictures blossomed as Madison grew like a weed, and I began to really appreciate my camera and it's mission. It was also around this time that I bought my first digital camera. The realization that I wasn't bound to the traditional 35mm film, and a limited number of exposures, opened a whole new door for me! I could take as many pictures as my memory card would allow, view them, erase those that weren't up to par, and upload the worthy ones to my computer. The days of boxes and boxes of negatives were over!

(Madison~Only a Few Months Old)

(11 Months Old)

Since then, I've enjoyed learning through practice, and have just recently started taking my first photography class. My camera is almost always in reach and, as you all know, I use it daily to "freeze" special moments with Gracie. While I do not have control of time, and it's hurried nature, with a camera in my hand I feel as though I gain some control. I stop time.

These days, it's all about her...

It's those little expressions that I love the most. It's the sweet, baby cheeks, that won't last long, the innocent blue eyes, the chubby, scuffed knees, and the golden curls at the nape of her neck. It's her spontaneous affection, a quick hug when you least expect it, or that sweet, sloppy kiss on the cheek. It's her attempt at running, then collapsing into her Daddy's waiting arms. It's the excitement of something new, the wonder and awe that lights up every ounce of her. It's every little detail, at every single moment, that I want frozen in time. And so, I snap away, letting my camera take in these precious moments before they pass. But, I also remember to take a step back, put the camera down, and live in these moments, too. When it's all said and done, that, of course, is what life is all about.

Day 56...

Gracie was very excited to see Austin this afternoon, she even tried to share her lunch with him!

On the way home... :)

Day 55...

Gracie, Mr. Giraffe, and a Mouthful of Pretzels!

Day 54...

A year ago today, Gracie was almost 4 months old!

And here she is today! :) She's changed so much!

Day 53...

Apparently, Gracie has learned the hard way that Kitty prefers to be left alone. This does not deter her, however, from loving on her. She has found a clever, new way to pet Kitty, minimizing the risk of getting a gentle warning bite on those precious hands.

Day 52...

Lazy, Rainy, Friday...

Sun, we're ready for you to come back!

Days Like These...

(I wrote this post a few weeks ago and couldn't decide if I wanted to share it or not...Writing has always been my way of expressing myself. I tend to internalize most of my emotions, and instead share them with a pen and paper, or in this case, a keyboard and computer screen. Either way, I always feel better, and so light, after sitting down and getting some of my thoughts out. Today, sharing seemed like a good idea.)

Rainbows and Sunny Skies...

I saw my rainbow today...I have to admit, it was actually a strange moment. You see, I needed a rainbow today, a reminder that I haven't been forgotten, that I am heard. And then, to look up and see this beautiful rainbow in the sky, right when I, when we, needed it the most, it made me feel guilty for ever wondering...

Life isn't easy, and it most definitely isn't fair, but we are all given the same promise. We will not be abandoned and with His love, we do have hope for sunnier skies. Once again, I feel a gentle nudge from above, reminding me to just have Faith.

I believe in days like these, in signs that we are not alone. I believe in moments that turn tears to laughter, and keep you holding on.

Day 51...

I Caught You!

Gracie was seconds away from diving into Bentley's water bowl, but Mommy caught her in the act and she went running, and giggling, away!

Day 50...

Rainy Days...

I could hear the rain early this morning, begging me to sleep just a little longer. Gracie must have heard it too, she slept in until 8:30! Other than a quick walk with Bentley, while the rain was barely a sprinkle, we have spent the day inside, entertaining ourselves with Lego building, lots of book reading, and two really great naps (well, for Gracie anyway). :)

Day 49...

Smiley Girl~Almost Ready for Bed

Day 48...

You are my Sunshine, My only Sunshine...

I used to sing this song to Gracie, when she was still a tiny little thing and would let me rock her until she drifted off into a peaceful, baby sleep. I even made up an extra verse, just for her. This morning, during a very random moment while playing with her, the song popped into my head and I started singing it to her once again. She was delighted and started rocking back and forth to the melody. While thinking about the lyrics to this short, catchy tune, I realized just how well it sums up how I feel about my sweet Grace. She is my sunshine, she makes me happy no matter what else is going on around me. I am always smiling in her presence. She is my miracle, she gives me hope, and she is a constant reminder that God is smiling down on us. With her in my arms, I have everything. I am counting my blessings today and cannot even express how thankful I am for this little blond-haired, blue-eyed blessing.

Day 47...

Gracie was more than willing to help water Nana's flowers this evening, even though the watering can is almost as big as she is! She's getting to be such a helpful little thing. She seems to learn something new everyday and does simple tasks for me during the day. She is my little sunshine and she keeps me smiling. :)

Day 46...

Fun with Cousins...

On Sean's side of the family, Gracie's cousins are both girls, so it's funny to see her here as the only girl! We had a really nice afternoon with Nana, Ashley, Chandler, and Austin. The weather was beautiful, so we went shopping and stopped to sit outside and have smoothies. :)

Day 45...

Kindermusik!

Gracie's Kindermusik class started back today! This time, she is one of the walking babies and she's already teamed up with the other "walker" in the class, a 16 month old little girl. Here she is, shaking her "eggs". She loves the instruments and exploring the room with her new friends!

Day 44...

Gracie loves to dance! When she hears her favorite song, she stops whatever she's doing and heads for the middle of our living room. She will then dance, and bark (there is a dog barking in the song), until the song is over. It's very entertaining, and she moves so fast that I could barely get a clear picture! She's my little Dancing Grace! :)

Day 43...

Cheerios Make us Smile :)

Day 42...

Gracie seems to really enjoy having her baby cousin around! She won't actually get close enough to touch him, but she will help Nana with his socks. :) She gets a big smile on her face when she sees him and shows genuine concern when he cries. I know that these two will be very close, and probably get into lots of trouble along the way!

Day 41...

Happy Labor Day!