Time Out.

Gracie insisted that she go to the bathroom by herself today, but not on her potty, on the big one. I tried to explain why it was a good idea for me to stand by and help her, but she started to cry and made it clear she wanted me out of the bathroom. Part of me wanted to give her the chance, part of me knew why this was not going to go well.

In the end, there was pee all over her pants and running down the toilet. One more mess, one more change of clothes that I didn't want to deal with. As frustrated as I was, I tried to calmly explain once again why she still needs mommy's help, but all I did was make her cry. I felt like I was telling her she couldn't do something, when she believed that she could. It hurt my feelings that hers were hurt. It upset me that I upset her by speaking more harshly than I should have. It was one of those moments where I would have liked a "do-over", a chance to approach my toddler in a different way, turn the moment into a learning experience with smiles, instead of one with tears.

This post is my own "time-out", a chance to clear my thoughts and breathe. Since becoming a mother, I've learned that some days are harder than others, sometimes both of our emotions run high and we both cry, and sometimes I feel guilty for not being better, or more patient, or more gentle towards her when she's done something as simple as try to potty on her own...

I realize that I'm not alone and that parenting in general is challenging. I also know that even on the toughest days we're trying hard to be the mothers our babies deserve. It's not always easy, but that little girl is my heart and I'll always be striving to be better tomorrow than I was today.

My time out is over. Now I just want to let my baby know how proud I am of her, and tell her how much I love her.