The word feels heavy in my mind before I ever even type it out, and my fingers hesitate... suicide. It's difficult for me to understand how a person can make a decision so final, so irreversible. What's done is done, there aren't any more chances to get it right or give life another try. What's left is the aftermath, a ripple effect of confusion and pain.
I like to keep things light and fluffy on my blog, and respect those involved, so I chose not to discuss my feelings here, but there was a tragic incident a week ago. It was last Friday that I found out someone I knew, someone so young, had died. Unfortunately, my sister stands in the aftermath and this is on my mind daily as I struggle for the right words to say. It was a friend of hers that chose to end his life. It was one of her best friends, his fiance, who stood as witness to this heavy, heartbreaking decision. There is a family hurting, friends in shock, family and friends of those loved ones trying to give support during an unimaginable time... here is the ripple effect. What hurts my sister hurts me and I'm having a difficult time knowing how to help her deal with this loss, while she also stands firm, as a rock, for her girlfriend.
I simply ask for thoughts and prayers for those hurting right now. It's going to be an insanely long road from here. I ask for prayers for my sister. I swear she is an angel... she's stepped in during some moments she could probably never describe, ones I would never ask her to. She's been a shoulder for her girlfriend to cry on, but also an anchor for her to cling to as everything around her has crumbled and lies forever changed.
I wish with all my heart that this could be reversed, that we could tell him life is worth fighting for. I wish that my sister never had to get that phone call or watch her own life change as she sets out to do what she can to help pick up the pieces. But, I am proud of her. She amazes me with her strength and I am proud of her.
About Me
- Christina
- Mommy to Gracie and Ethan, Wife to Sean. I hold these titles close to my heart and thank God constantly for the privilege to call this little family mine. I am slightly picture-obsessed and always have my camera in reach, ready to capture those priceless moments with my children. I am inspired by the little moments with them that bring beauty to each day.
Gracie
My Angel, My Blessing. She's also my employer, and the benefits couldn't be better! :) This sweet little girl is the *star* of this blog, and of my life. Every moment with her is a reminder of God's grace and of the many blessings that surround me.
Sean
My Husband, My Best Friend. He's ambitious, determined, and puts his desire to be a great father above everything else. It goes without saying that without him, I wouldn't have our Grace, but I wouldn't even be the same person if he weren't in my life. We've been a couple for 10 years and have a strong foundation under our 3 year marriage. I'm so thankful for his unconditional love and support.
Happy Places...
3 comments:
That word Heavy is so powerful. I wil be praying for you sister and for the family and friends. Suicide is such a horrible thing bc you always feel like if only you could have helped. It's hard bc it's a choice by that person, and not something out of their control like cancer, although mental illness to me is as horrible as cancer. Either way, there is always those questions, those what if's, the whys. Its so disconcerting to those of us who treasure and cherish each day here on earth. You have to know that whatever demons that person was battling though, they are at peace now with themselves, their demons, and the thoughts that plagued their mind day in and day out. Being depressed and feeling hopeless that death is the only way out is a horrible, sad, and very lonely place. I hope your sister and those left behind find some peace and solace in knowing that person is not alone with their thoughts anymore, and at peace. God bless. XOXO.
Wow. This is such a sad post. Praying for you, your sister, and all those affected by this tragedy.
SO sad for eeryone involved. All we can do is pray for those loved ones that he left behind. May God give them peace. Always kiss your husband and baby every day.
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